Are you a monster?

Do you scare your child? Perhaps  not even realizing you do it?

Let’s face it the monster in us comes out in parenting no matter how great we are at it.

Which monster do you turn into most often?

1. Dracula-This is when we quietly watch our child do childish annoying things, but we are too weary, bored, or self absorbed to stop them but we accumulate the frustration like tiny droplets of blood, then in a furious frenzy that one thing tips our meter and we jump in for the bite completely unexpected. That kid never knew what bit him until it was too late–Scary!

2. The flipping Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde. This is when we are happy happy happy with our child then in an instant we turn “mad” or we are angry angry angry with our child then in an instant turn happy.  The child is constantly jittery not knowing when the monster will pop out for the scare.

3. The werewolf: When we howl and howl and howl and bear our ugly teeth and spit fowl breath over our children we think our children are getting our fierce message but if we keep making constant “noise” they tune out. But constant anger-yelping is just as bad as the bite and our kids stay in a constant state of overbearance and tension before they trasform into werewolves themselves on a full moon.

4. Godzilla: This is when we grab things out of hands, kick toys out of the way, and use our strength and size to show who is superior. We are so angry we use force to thrash around while yelling and breaking things up. Our children look up with horror just waiting for the Lego towers to come crashing down or Hot wheel cars to go flying, and for them to be next.

5.  The Zombie: This is when our child has broken us to near death, but not quite. We don’t want to smile cute anymore. We don’t want to hear the little laugh or wipe another bottom. We shuffle along in a stupor, moaning and dragging,  wishing to be dead instead of hearing another version of a Silly song or picture book. If we see one more big eyed stuffed animal or step on one more action figure we will rip it to shreds.  This is when we snap and grab our child to get them to stop acting  so human…It’s usually the most dangerous parenting monster to become. It’s when we “react” with any number of surprise scares for our child. And they don’t know when it is coming.

Halloween comes once a year and we allow monsters to get loose. But parent monsters, BEWARE! WE often are the very things that create the jitters for our own little beasts.

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Officially Designated Protector of Monsters

If you think your trick or treat-er is not affected by the scaries of Halloween you are a parent that has forgotten your own childhood. Be soul-sensitive at this time!

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Children perceive scary things far different than adults with their “animistic thinking” (they perceive everything with real tendencies and cannot differentiate) and active imaginations. Something you think is not scary or can be dismissed in your adult mind as pretend can stick in their minds for years if not a lifetime.

Many adults think that they are toughing up their children or helping them work through fears by exposing them to terror that their immature minds are too young to handle developmentally. 

But silly you–       

In that little head of there’s they are making all sorts of frightening connective pictures and anxious dreams that WILL come out in other areas.

Protect your child’s soul and honor their childhood!

They need you to…

There is a difference between this:

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and this:

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A great beat-the-scare solution:

If you have one that is extra sensitive and find that you have got some monsters lurking around before bedtime, don’t dismay! A good mixture of potent monster spray, boiled up in one of your cauldrons, is guaranteed to rid creepy things under beds, in dark closets, in hallways or even to remove pesty brothers. Just pour the potion in a clean spray bottle and put it where you can grab it fast! Parents can help children even do a prevention pre-spray before bedtime or even take it with them in the car, just in case…

That stuff works wonders especially during this time of year.

You just never know when you will encounter a monster that you don’t like.

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With that said…

Why

would I continue

with a blog

on childhood

if

I just told parents

they

already

were

experts?

 

Because…

there is a mommy’s and daddy’s club on social media which allows us to laugh, cry, mock, tease, and even rant with a constant deluge of sarcastic, satirical, or emotional-reinforcement photos giving all of us suckers the recognition we feel we deserve for enduring this hellish life sentence we got ourselves into called parenting when we really only wanted a back rub. This blog is for the children.

Because…

someone has to remind those who forgot or are really really busy

that children are the very best things that could ever happen to the earth…

Because…

you know how to read.

 

You’re the expert

 

You may not feel it is true but you are an expert for your child.

All parents compare parenting skills.

All parents compare childhood milestones.

That chatter is everywhere and often makes us feel guilty.

Whether you are an Australian bush parent, a parent carrying a baby in the rice paddies, or a millennial parent juggling time…non of that really matters. As long as the child is safe, clean, healthy, loved, and thriving; your way is the best way to make that happen. There are as many unique parenting strategies as there are different parents.

You get your expertise in parenting with a  crash course on your first child. By the second child you are a pro. Each child comes with a whole new set of ingredients but you do have one thing– you know you can do this.

Choose the course that fits who you are as a parent and live with your way. It may not be the way parents do it in Australia or in China or even next door, but it doesn’t matter as long as your child is loved and thriving.

You are the expert parent, exactly right for your child. Be proud of yourself!

 

There was a child…

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There was a child

went forth every day.

And the first object he looked upon,

that object he became,

and that object became a part of him for the day,

or a certain part of the day,

or for many years, or

stretching cycles of years.

The early lilacs became a part of this child,

and the grass 

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and white and red morning glories,

and white and red clover,

and the song of the phoebe-bird,

and the third month lambs,

and the sows pink-faint litter,

and the mare’s foul,

and the cow’s calf…

–Walt Whitman

It makes you think…

what

will become a part of your child

today

that will last only today…

or years

or stretch to cycles of years?

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the tones of life

I never realized what a treasure this one little gift has been from my childhood home after my parents passed away. It sings a familiar tune as the metal tubes sway and tap merrily in the breeze. It lifts me up and takes me to a gentle time and place.

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This thought expresses the blessed tone of my parents’ life music they sang to us.

Let our words be like wind chimes.

Tone is something we hear like wind chimes blowing in the air. What sounds do our words make…? Communication is more than what we say; it is how we say it and how we sound. As much as possible, without forfeiting what we have to say, let our words be music to people’s ears.

Melody Beattie

 

The Middle Wife

The Birth Story through the eyes of a 7 year old

The ‘Middle Wife’ by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. ‘This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.’

‘First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.’

She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

‘Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, ‘Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!’ Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. ‘She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

‘My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.’ (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

‘And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!’ (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

‘Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and ‘breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom’s play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there in the first place.’

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s Show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ‘Middle Wife’ comes along.