Good kids take time and effort and need good parents who try their best to show them what is “good.”
Children of all ages need their parents’ wisdom merely because they don’t have the brain/logic capacity, YET, to connect really large dots; no matter how smart and mature they may seem. In my last post I shared a story. It was a nice story about two parents trying to share a good thing with their boys, taking them to honor Martin Luther King and was pretty great. Yet, it was not the end of learning. Seeking affirmation from their parents was a good thing, but there was more to it. Assuming children link value lessons together, as the grown brain can, is missing a critical part of childhood and missing a crucial part of the gift of parenting. The next step may be the most necessary component of learning because you, as their parent are the exact one needed for your child to teach them what has value to you. The world cannot do that for you. The next step is the WHY step and it can be done as diverse as each parent are in personality. Using the last post, it is the ‘after’ when you share together what your kids thought validating their voice and then explain why this was important to you. A little pre-work can also be a part of it, too. Interactions with your child is the valuable key! For a child to learn your family values and feel secure and safe, are parents who understand things they don’t, yet, but help them understand in their time and in their way. Conversation about why “our” family does things, or why traditions or manners are important is widely studied in developmental sciences with parents as “buffers” and supports and result in less fearful children. The conversations may not always turn out perfect, but the value is having them, often. We are social creatures. Our children do not understand much of the world, yet. Knowing why from good parents who are trying, give them confidence in establishing autonomy because they are led by adults who care about them and care about the world.
Only One Childhood 