If you haven’t noticed by my infrequent posts, I have been struggling for some time trying to find the most honest voice for what I wish to accomplish for this blog and how to go about expressing it. I feel a fraud if I come across as an intellectual or expert because it doesn’t fit with the way I interact and dwell in the childhood realm and yet feel to be credible, credentials or labels give clout to words. Is this not truth? A mommy blog or Instagram post serves great supportive purposes, but just isn’t right for this either. This is way too important.
This blog is about SPIRIT. (Not pushing a specific religion) It is about spirit, mind, and body, but it links spirit with the other two for thriving, psychology and creating and building relational health. Over the past 5+ months I have had a unique experience that I considered quite rare closely interacting with two twin babies from their very first days until now. While with them I uncovered pieces of myself that had been buried a long time and were so authentically me, it is difficult to put words to. It made me realize how much infants come so dominant in spirit and how content and at ease I am in that space. It is Home to me.
It is not easy living with a person like me. I look like an adult but I don’t feel like one inside. I do not dwell in the same realm or tune in to the same “channel” as normal grown people. I live in a sort of in-between space closely linked into the childhood frequency where I understand them quite intuitively and sensitively. Officially I am called an innocent, coined by a psychologist I know. That term fits me quite comfortably. You see, children are innocent but scrupulous and pure. They either like you or they don’t like you, and they don’t mess around with proper etiquette to fake it. So, if you are a rare human being that gets chosen by infants or children to not only visit their world, but dwell in their space, it is quite a privilege as an understatement. This is sacred ground. This is where I authentically live. I am welcomed there and often get frequently carried in.
It is conflicting for me and for those around me. I am quiet and gently mannered, but there is a lion inside me that becomes fierce when little children’s spirits are trifled with. Because of the spiritual sensitivity I carry, I feel responsible for children everywhere. It is a blessing and a curse. I feel a great interior force of ferocious passion to protect children. Often it is difficult for adults to understand what I am trying to show or express especially when they are simply trying to survive with complete exhaustion. Because what I am showing comes from a spiritual vantage point. The kind that the child dwells naturally in but most adults don’t have time for, don’t remember, or never was nourished within themselves as children.
The lion inside is nudging me to write and share about this. I am afraid to. Spirit and childhood is holy, precious and natural. The gift bestowed on me by God as a guardian for childhood is sacred to me. I worry it will be attacked and made fun of by people who feel smarter and believe they know better intellectually. Talking about children is a challenge. There are millions of experts.
I wish to walk on a gentle journey that once was your own. This is not new. You may have grown out of it and cannot remember. The spirit of the child is fragile; and yet includes a power and wisdom that is beyond our comprehension.
They are simple beings and yet complex.
They are special in a world that craves something special. And here they are. We see them most every day.
And yet our goal is to drive childhood right out of them. To move them past and on to grown-up land where WE think life is better. So, this is why I write. We live amongst precious gems that teach us as we grow closer to them. When you allow yourself to go “innocent” a spirituality inside you awakens feeling familiar and warm. It often frightens adults who need to stay in control. We have the privilege to associate with humans who still have one foot in heaven for a fleeting piece of time. The time is called childhood. This is my passion. It is my life’s joy. I hope you will want to wonder more…
Only One Childhood 